rebecca

Hello You Lovely Lot!

This is just a short blog post to update you on how I'm feeling. As you may be able to tell by the title of this blog post, I'm not feeling too great. Recently, I've been asking myself a lot of questions. What do I want to do? Am I making the right decisions? Do I really want to be at University? Am I happy? Is what I'm feeling just stress? Am I just homesick? Should I have stayed at home? Is this something completely unrelated to University?

I have come to realise that the answer to all of these is a big fat 'I don't know' and that scares me more than anything else. This isn't the first time I have felt like this and I have no doubt that it won't be the last time I go through whatever this is with only just over a year left of University. I have gone from knowing exactly what I want to do to completely dropping the idea and had friends say to me 'Well what will you do then?!' and of course the answer to that is, I have no clue. I know that I am not the only one facing these issues and asking myself these questions.

One thing I do know is that this year I have really tried to prioritise myself. I have gained a few things and lost a few things but ultimately my happiness is so important. I need to think about the things that I want and right now I'm not sure what that is which makes this a lot harder. I do know that I don't want to be stuck doing something I hate and not able to get out of it.

Sometimes I feel that this is something more serious than just disliking University which in turn can make University much more difficult when you're also dealing with other things on top. Maybe I have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning or maybe I need to do some serious thinking. Some people will tell you nobody knows what they're doing and that that's fine and normal! Maybe it is. However, I can tell you that I do not like it. A few months ago I was dead set on leaving University, I hated it. However, I managed to pull back through and everybody said to me 'But you haven't got long left! There's no point quitting now!'. I can see where these people are coming from but every day feels like a week when you're unhappy with what you're doing. As lovely as my friends are, I can't stay for their sake either. So what now? Where do I go? What do I do? I'm not sure. Maybe I stay here and let it all work itself out for another year. Maybe I go home and find something else to. Maybe I just have a bath and watch a sad film and feel a little better.

Anyway, sorry for that emotional rant, normal blog posts will resume soon. I don't tend to share things like this on my blog but I do think it's important.

Thanks For Reading.

Becky x

Hello You Lovely Lot!

Recently I turned 20. I am trying to not think about the fact that this now means I have to be an adult. When I think about it I feel like 20 years is a long time however I feel like I was a child a split-second ago?

Now obviously I don't know everything but I like to think I know a few important things. I thought I would share these things with you in the hope that one of you can be helped!

1. People will take your kindness for weakness

I like to think that I'm generally a nice person. I have, however, learnt that over the years people think that this means they can walk all over me. i have actually let some people walk all over me but over the past two or three years I have learnt to not do that anymore. People take your kindness to granted but there has to be a point where you put your foot down and show people that you can stick up for yourself.


2.Bullies exist past primary and secondary school

This is a lesson I've learnt very recently. You may think that people will grow up and snap out of it but apparently not. I'm tempted to do a whole new post on this because it's an important topic. People will try and pull you down and gang up on you, even at the age of 23 I've discovered. Just rise above it and keep your head held high.


3. Do whatever you want, no matter what other people may think

For a while I was self conscious about starting a YouTube channel and I have faced criticism (see the point above). However, I love making and editing videos and have met some lovely people through doing YouTube. So if there's something you want to do but you're scared about people's reactions. Do it. You will have people who support you every step of the way.


4. If you work hard enough at something you will succeed eventually

This seems really deep and meaningful but it's really about makeup. When I first moved to Uni I had no idea what I was doing with any makeup and now, thanks to mainly Nicole and Chloe, I have improved so much. I still have a long way to go but I enjoy makeup and practice really does make perfect.


5. University is not for everyone

I have discovered through my friends and how I feel myself that you don't have to go to University. For some people it is just not the right path or isn't the right path straight after college. I don't enjoy University too much at the moment so I may be one of these people but either way, if you don't like it and it doesn't agree with you, that's fine. If it's not wha you want to do and it's not your dream, don't do it because you feel like you have to.


6. True friends are rare

When you're in primary and secondary school you think you have a massive friendship group and that everyone is your best mate. Of course some people in this group are true friends most of the time however in my life at the moment I have about two people who I truly believe I can talk to about literally everything. So look out for those people and treasure them.


7. Family are not always reliable

The one people you think will always have your back are you family but this isn't always true. Sometimes you can trust friends more than family and that's something you have to accept. This may not apply to everyone but I'm sure some of you will know how I feel. Obviously I won't go in to too much detail about this because it's quite person but it is something I've learnt.

8. School really can be some of the best times of your life

I don't miss the bullies I dealt with at school and when I think back on it my mental state wasn't great either. However, I loved most of my lessons and school felt so secure and I knew what I was doing pretty much all of the time. My teachers were so lovely and most of my friends were too. You don't realise how good you have it in school sometimes.


9. Drinking more water really does help

Recently I've been drinking loads of water. I even have an app that tells me when I've drank enough because I was worried I'd been drinking too much. In the past few days I haven't drank much at all and I have really noticed it. No matter how much I sleep I seem to be tired and although I am spotty anyway I'm breaking out a lot more than usual. Just carrying a bottle of water around with you and sipping on it throughout the day is so easy. Especially when I'm at University all day.


10. Not everyone will like you

You can be the nicest, prettiest, funniest person ever and there will still be someone who doesn't like you. There's no point wasting your time with trying to please everyone because it wont happen. Ignore those people who don't like you because it's their loss and you have friends who love you.


11. Do things for you

I have always struggled with my weight and at one point I was losing weight because other people were telling me I had to but I've got to a point now where I'm going to try and lose it for me. I know I will be a happier and healthier person and as long as you're healthy and happy then that's all that matters, no matter what size you are.


12. You don't have to love going out and getting drunk

Some people do love this and that's totally cool. However, I used to go out because I thought it would make me 'cool' or I thought I had to. I much prefer sitting in my own living room and having a few drinks and a movie. Sometimes I do really want to go out and when that feeling hits I don't feel bad about doing it. I think it might just be because I hate hangovers because I get really sick but either way, I'm just not that girl (I was about to write teenager and then I realised I'm not one...). You will find people who are the same and people you can always rely on for a night out. I love alcohol sometimes and when you need a night out you know! I just do it once in a blue moon.


13. Don't lock yourself away

I spent the whole of my first year at Uni in my room feeling sorry for myself and it just made me feel worse and worse. I've made a whole video on this so you can find that on my channel but in any case, it's not the way to go about things. Do things with your friends, family, or by yourself. It's ok to have the occasional duvet day where you just want to feel sorry for yourself but don't let that become every day.


14. Don't let anybody make you feel small

No matter what it is that you do; listening to your favourite band, doing your favourite activities, spending your money on your favourite things, don't let anyone make you feel bad for it. If it makes you happy then do it. As long as you don't harm anyone else or yourself by doing it then there's no problem in my eyes!


15. Don't be afraid to make mistakes

If you didn't make mistakes then you wouldn't be human. It's a part of life and something that we all do. Making mistakes means you know better next time and it teaches you so many lessons. If you're afraid to do something because you're worried it might go wrong then that's even more reason to do it. You can't let anything hold you back.


16. Dogs are important

I have three dogs if you didn't already know. Obviously not everyone likes dogs so this applies to any animal really. When I first got a dog it was obvious that I loved her. However, there was something different with our second dog. He is genuinely my best mate. People who don't have animals don't get it but if you have a dog or a cat or a horse or a hamster or whatever, you may know. He makes me so happy and he doesn't care what I do, he loves me anyway.


17. Others don't see you the way you see yourself

A while ago I was talking to Natalie about our insecurities. I told her that I didn't like my weight and she said she didn't even think about it. I was just me. That made me realise that the things she said were things I didn't even think about with her. People who pick out your insecurities aren't worth knowing.



18. The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind

Relating to the previous point. I first found this quote in a Charlie McDonnel song and it is so true. The people that care about what you do and what you say and what you eat and what you buy aren't worth thinking about. The people who matter will love you no matter what you choose to do.


19. It's not about how long you know someone

I have known some people for like 10 years and met people this year who have become ten times closer. Particularly a girl called Melanie who I met this year. We have become so close over the past few months and it's taught me that it's just about meeting the right people, not how long you've known them.


20. Happiness takes time

This is the most important one for me. You can't expect to change one thing or for someone to wave a magic wand and for you to be happy. It takes a few changes and you'll go through struggles and relapses. You can't always be happy and it's fine when you're not, as long as you remember that



So there you have it everyone! I hope you've learnt something from this blog post of mine. I've learned a lot more than this in 20 years obviously but these things are really important to me and I hope they help someone!

Thanks For Reading

Becky x

Hello You Lovely Lot!

Whilst I was lying in bed the other night I suddenly realised that my blog is now two years old! I started this blog on new Years Day two years ago! I find it so hard ti believe that I've been writing this blog for two years. In some ways it feels like I've been writing it for my whole life but in some ways it feels like I started writing it yesterday.

I started writing this blog because I needed a creative outlet and I have found so much more than that! I love writing these posts even if I do sometimes find it hard. This year I really want to step up my blog and I'm not sure of the best ways to go about that (so if anyone has any suggestions then feel free to let me know). I want to post more, I want my posts to be better and I just want to still love writing blog posts by the end of this year and further hopefully!

The past few weeks I've been reading over old blog posts and it's crazy to see how I've changed. I think that's another positive to writing a blog. You can look back on all the posts and see all the things you've done. One of the best parts of 2016 for my blog (Was it 2016? Was it 2015? I have lost all track of time. Either way it's one of the highlights for my blog) was getting to review Louise Pentland's (SprinkleofGlitter in the blogging and youtubing world) book! Louise even read the reviews herself and put a link to my blog on her twitter which I could never get my head around. To be noticed by someone who you've read and watched for years is crazy!

So Happy Birthday to my blog! Here's to many more years of me writing about what I like and whinging a bit. Thank You to everyone who reads my blog whether it's been two years, two months, two days or two seconds. It's really encouraging to see people actually reading the things you write!

Feel free to follow me on Bloglovin', the link is just at the top of my blog and you'll be up to date with all my posts!

Thanks For Reading!

Becky x