rebecca: birthday

Hello You Lovely Lot!

I am writing this from my house in Liverpool where I live whist I go to University, I am finally back. I'll be honest with you all, I can't help but feel a bit deflated. I was quite looking forward to coming back because my birthday is on the 17th of January. I'm going to Breakout (one of those escape rooms, blog post to follow) with my English Literature friends and then having my Drama friends over for drinks afterwards and I've been so excited about these things ever since I had them planned.

There's no point in me lying to anyone, I really struggled last term at University, especially towards the end of it. I ended up going home every weekend because I just couldn't cope with being away. it made me feel so lonely and various other things contributed to my loneliness. The only solution I could find was to be at home as much as I could and so I would travel home on a Thursday night and travel back on a Monday, I spent more time at home than I did at University. My friends didn't really get it and I would get 'You're going home again?!' quite a lot. I'm not sure how I'll get on this year but my plan is to only go home when I really need to. I'm seeing Jack Whitehall on the 10th of February and then Busted the weekend after. I then have the Easter holidays for pretty much the whole of April and I'll be done by the beginning of June. I also have my friend Chloe coming to stay on the 4th of February for a late birthday weekend for us both (her birthday was the 12th of January!).

Even though I know it's only about three weeks until I go home again I'm struggling. I don't want to rely on going home because

I miss out on quite a few things (parties, theatre shows, birthdays etc)
I want to enjoy the University experience as much as I can.

I've made two quite strong friendship groups this year. My English Literature friends live all over the place so planning things with them is always harder but my Drama friends mostly all live down the road from me because we all go to the same campus. I know that planning things with friends makes me feel better but I got to a point last year where I didn't even want to do that. I wanted to shut myself off from everyone apart from my family because I lost trust in people. I also have my friend Sandy who I became friends with in college and who happens to go to University of Liverpool. Having someone from home in Liverpool is so refreshing because seeing Sandy is a little bit like I've gone home for an hour or two. Her flat mates are also lovely and I love going round! I'm moving in to a house with Sandy and a few of her friends next year and I think living with Sandy will really help. Maybe the only time I'll really think about the fact I'm not at home is when I'm at University. However, even then, I've become so comfortable with my University friends that being with them is lovely.

I guess what I'm trying to say in this long, rambly, blog post is that I feel lonely. I miss being at home already and it's been a few hours. I'm going to try harder this year to involve myself in things. I want Liverpool to feel like a second home. I also have my Grandma only a bus ride away and my Auntie and Uncle a train ride away so there will be more visits to them this year. I'm hoping my birthday is everything I hope for because my 19th birthday was one of the most miserable days of my life. i couldn't escape the fact I wasn't at home and spent most of my time that day in my room.

So, to anyone who is in the same boat and has been hit by a wave of back to Uni blues, you're not alone. I'm sending all my love to these people and hope I receive some love back.

Thanks For Reading!

Becky x

2 comments

Happy Birthday Blog!

by Unknown - 04:11

2 comments

Nineteen (Part Two)

by Unknown - 12:20

No comments

Nineteen (Part One)

by Unknown - 14:03

No comments

Home Time (Again)! (Blogmas Day Eleven)

by Unknown - 15:51

Hello you lovely lot!

So, I am at home again! I've really enjoyed the past two weekends and I know I'm home a lot recently however this time I brought my flatmate Abbey home with me. It's so weird to think that Abbey has never even seen Nottingham before but I've seen it most days for the past 10 or so years!

I think she's really enjoyed her weekend here (at least I hope she did!). She met my friend Gemma who is ever so lovely, we went out for a nice burger, she helped me put up a Christmas Tree and we watched a nice film with my family. It's nice to be able to show people the place that I pretty much grew up in.

I don't finish for Christmas till next weekend so my Dad's coming to pick me up next Friday which I can't wait for! I am so excited to be able to spend more than 2/3 days at home. Also, when I return to Liverpool after Christmas, my hair will be a completely different colour (no spoilers soz).

That doesn't mean that next week isn't super busy. I have a 1500 word essay in for Friday, a friends birthday on Thursday and two secret Santas to sort of for Wednesday/Thursday! I am excited to have a lecture on Christmas from English and to have mince pies and mulled wine in the seminar (who says Liverpool Uni is better than Liverpool hope?!). The posts may be a bit lacking this week, I will still try and get them up however with it being so busy they may not be as exciting, although to be honest...wouldn't call them exciting anyway.

Coming home for Christmas also means I can see all my friends again. I bumped in to Chloe (if you read my blog regularly you'll know who Chloe is) in town today which was such a lovely surprise! I've planned both my birthday meals, one with Natalie and one with all my school friends. We don't need to talk about the fact that i'll be 19 do we?! Am I old?!

I'll also be able to have sleepovers with my friends Lizzie, Gemma and Puja again! I haven't seen Puja since I left and I've only seen Gemma three times and Lizzie twice. I used to see them at least every other week. I think it's been a kind of a shock to the system in a way. We are planning to have a sleepover with loads of rubbish food and Disney films when my parents leave for New Years so that'll be a long awaited reunion and a Christmas present bonanza I have no doubt.

Over the Christmas break I'm hoping my posts will get better because I wont really have anything else to do! I'm posting on Christmas day and then I'll probably take a break until New Years when I can make a post about seeing Natalie (i.e. the longest post ever!).

Hope you enjoyed that little catch up on my life!

Thanks For Reading!

Becky x

No comments

Happy

by Unknown - 09:12

For my birthday I got given a book from my friend Shanice.

I am such a sucker for these kind of things, I already have a 'Wreck This Journal' and 'The Pointless Book' both of which have the same kind of concept as this. It contains all sorts of things from simply 'list the things that make you happy' to recipes to a page that just says 'HOT CHOCOLATE WITH MARSHMALLOWS' (which of course makes me very happy).

I've known Shanice for six years now, we actually met on my birthday in Year Seven. I like to think she knows me pretty well and this present definitely shows that. Like many other people I struggle to look on the positive side a lot of the time and often find myself stuck in a well of self pity and chocolate. Usually I get myself through it by laughing at videos of me and my friend Natalie or listening to One Direction but of course, we all have really bad days.

I've already done one or two things in this book and I know that on a down day I'll be able to look at the huge list that I made of things that make me happy which include Harry Styles, Liverpool and Tea with Honey. I'll also be able to look at the list of things that I like about myself and I'll know that feeling down is never permanent, there is always moments of happiness, however fleeting those moments may be.

I think this book is going to be a real help over the next few months, years or however long it is before I inevitably end up losing it. I think that everyone needs something like this, something they can get out when they feel down and just have a flick through. It's full of quotes and things that make other people happy, I just think it's a wonderful invention.

I'm lucky to have very understanding parents (mainly my dad) and also friends who know that every day is not going to be sunny and I understand that they too have days where they feel like the weight of the world is on their shoulders and I wish I could buy all of them this book.

"Subtly , in the little ways, joy has been leaking out of our lives. The small pleasures of the ordinary day seem almost contemptible, and glance off us lightly...Perhaps it's a good time to reconsider pleasure at its roots. Changing out of wet shoes and socks, for instance. Bathrobes. Yawning and stretching. Real tomatoes." - Barara Holland

No comments

Eighteen

by Unknown - 16:52

So, I am now Eighteen?! Crazy!

Today has been a real mix of emotions, I started off the day with two of my best friends Paige and Giorgia.

Me and Giorgia (couldnt find one with Paige in!)

We stayed up till like 1am eating, drinking and giggling and I couldn't have had a better start to my day.

The morning wasn't the best, I had a bit of a meltdown but Paige and Giorgia were there to hug me and make sure I was ok! I also had lovely photos from a few friends put on Instagram with such lovely messages and also a video of me and my best friend Natalie dancing and singing in my car which I have to admit, made me cry a little...

Then we all went to town and I got some lovely presents, I also met my friend Jess who I haven't seen in months and we went for a drink. However, throughout the day I couldn't shake the feeling of being sad and all I really wanted was to be at home, crying and listening to Coldplay. I ended up ringing my lovely friend Ruth on the way home who I ranted to about my day and how I was gutted I wouldn't be seeing her on my birthday!

Then, when I got home, I had to get ready to go out. I was not in the mood. I had never been so upset or angry in my life and all I really wanted to do was curl up in bed and sleep forever. I told mum and dad I felt rubbish and I cried a little bit more in the bath, it wasn't turning out to be a good day. Dad had told me we were going to the pub and I was going to buy a drink since I legally can now. I wasn't too happy about this (because I'm a mardy teenager) and had said that I specifically didn't want to go to said pub because we go all the time and it just wasn't special. I was told we were going out for a posh meal after and thought this was what was happening. Oh, how wrong I was.

When I got into the pub I heard a giant scream and when I looked up most of my closest friends were there (minus Lizzie who was late, Eloise who was ill, Maddie who got her days mixed up, Kayla who never got the invitation in the first place for some reason and Natalie who was in Switzerland). I had never been so shocked in my life and I burst into tears. After a whole day of feeling like complete poo it was a huge relief to see a group of people who make my life worthwhile (cringe but true). Among the group of people was Ruth and all I could do was run up to her and give her a huge hug.

Me and Ruth tonight

Then, behind them was my family who had come from Chester, Liverpool and Bristol to be with me, so I cried again. Included in them were my little cousins Ella and Liv who two of the sweetest human beings and make me laugh all the time.

Very blurry photo of Me and Ella

After all the crying I had a lovely time, we played cards against humanity, ate food and drank alcohol. Birthdays aren't great for me. People tend to turn on me on my birthday and after looking forward to my 18th for so long I'm really annoyed at myself for spending most of it crying. But, today taught me who my true friends are, the people I need to stop pushing away and hang on, the ones who can keep a secret from me for like three months and the ones who are lovely to my family. So, now I can get rid of some fake friends. Thank you to everyone who made a real effort today and to the people who couldn't be there but still made a real effort to make me feel loved, even if they are in another country (*cough* Natalie *cough*)! Now i can look forward to tomorrow where I get to see more friends and maybe even cry a bit more! And also drink...there will be lots of that!

No comments

rebecca

Follow Me

Instagram

January 2017 Favourites

Back To Uni Blues

Happy Birthday Blog!

Nineteen (Part Two)

Nineteen (Part One)

Home Time (Again)! (Blogmas Day Eleven)

Happy

Eighteen

About me

recent posts

Blog Archive