Back To Uni Blues
Hello You Lovely Lot!
I am writing this from my house in Liverpool where I live whist I go to University, I am finally back. I'll be honest with you all, I can't help but feel a bit deflated. I was quite looking forward to coming back because my birthday is on the 17th of January. I'm going to Breakout (one of those escape rooms, blog post to follow) with my English Literature friends and then having my Drama friends over for drinks afterwards and I've been so excited about these things ever since I had them planned.
There's no point in me lying to anyone, I really struggled last term at University, especially towards the end of it. I ended up going home every weekend because I just couldn't cope with being away. it made me feel so lonely and various other things contributed to my loneliness. The only solution I could find was to be at home as much as I could and so I would travel home on a Thursday night and travel back on a Monday, I spent more time at home than I did at University. My friends didn't really get it and I would get 'You're going home again?!' quite a lot. I'm not sure how I'll get on this year but my plan is to only go home when I really need to. I'm seeing Jack Whitehall on the 10th of February and then Busted the weekend after. I then have the Easter holidays for pretty much the whole of April and I'll be done by the beginning of June. I also have my friend Chloe coming to stay on the 4th of February for a late birthday weekend for us both (her birthday was the 12th of January!).
Even though I know it's only about three weeks until I go home again I'm struggling. I don't want to rely on going home because
- I miss out on quite a few things (parties, theatre shows, birthdays etc)
- I want to enjoy the University experience as much as I can.
I've made two quite strong friendship groups this year. My English Literature friends live all over the place so planning things with them is always harder but my Drama friends mostly all live down the road from me because we all go to the same campus. I know that planning things with friends makes me feel better but I got to a point last year where I didn't even want to do that. I wanted to shut myself off from everyone apart from my family because I lost trust in people. I also have my friend Sandy who I became friends with in college and who happens to go to University of Liverpool. Having someone from home in Liverpool is so refreshing because seeing Sandy is a little bit like I've gone home for an hour or two. Her flat mates are also lovely and I love going round! I'm moving in to a house with Sandy and a few of her friends next year and I think living with Sandy will really help. Maybe the only time I'll really think about the fact I'm not at home is when I'm at University. However, even then, I've become so comfortable with my University friends that being with them is lovely.
I guess what I'm trying to say in this long, rambly, blog post is that I feel lonely. I miss being at home already and it's been a few hours. I'm going to try harder this year to involve myself in things. I want Liverpool to feel like a second home. I also have my Grandma only a bus ride away and my Auntie and Uncle a train ride away so there will be more visits to them this year. I'm hoping my birthday is everything I hope for because my 19th birthday was one of the most miserable days of my life. i couldn't escape the fact I wasn't at home and spent most of my time that day in my room.
So, to anyone who is in the same boat and has been hit by a wave of back to Uni blues, you're not alone. I'm sending all my love to these people and hope I receive some love back.
Thanks For Reading!
Becky x
2 comments
Hey, I have this worry a little bit when I go to uni and most of my friends came home a lot over their 3 years too, hope you're feeling much better now though! :)
ReplyDeleteLove reading such genuine posts!
I can never shake it, even when I know I'm going home soon! I'm starting to feel a little better I guess but I still miss home an awful lot!
DeleteThank you lovely!